Joe Bennett; he brings out the best in me. I hope everyone can find a person they love and who loves them back. In fact, it would be one of my three wishes.

Joe Bennett; he brings out the best in me.


I hope everyone can find a person they love and who loves them back. In fact, it would be one of my three wishes.

Gladwin, Michigan; one of my favorite places to be. Or as my family likes to call it, the triple G lodge (a.k.a. Gadwell’s Gladwin Getaway). Joe’s showed me a new approach at enjoying this dreamy getaway. His favorite thing to do, catching little creatures, has been in full effect this past weekend. From finding salamanders in the woods under moist logs, to saving turtles from certain death (crossing the road). He saved three turtles, but one of them is special. His name is Radar. He was a previous pet, we knew for sure, because he had two different colors of nail polish on his shell. He’s a sweet little dude, except he peed on me… twice. It’s okay though. It’s not like he drank anything except lake water or ate anything except plant life and the occasional bug. We decided to invite him along our mini road trip. He drove with us for three hours. This is only because we decided Joe’s lake in Pickney was a much more suitable place for him to retire. It’s basically heaven to all turtles. One sleepover in a water-filled cooler filled with pet turtle food to endure, then he’s free at last. Except he was a little brat basically the whole way here. Eh, I don’t blame him. I’d be scared too. My family’s had this place for nine years, and I still get super excited to get there like I did when I was just a girl. I feel like its the only place I can truly relax and have a total blast all in the same day. I wish more people could adventure out three hours away from their precious comfort zones, but it never seems to be so. What a shame. Being in nature makes me so happy. I hope everyone can find this same happiness in something. We all deserve it.

Gladwin, Michigan; one of my favorite places to be. Or as my family likes to call it, the triple G lodge (a.k.a. Gadwell’s Gladwin Getaway).

Joe’s showed me a new approach at enjoying this dreamy getaway. His favorite thing to do, catching little creatures, has been in full effect this past weekend. From finding salamanders in the woods under moist logs, to saving turtles from certain death (crossing the road).


He saved three turtles, but one of them is special. His name is Radar. He was a previous pet, we knew for sure, because he had two different colors of nail polish on his shell. He’s a sweet little dude, except he peed on me… twice. It’s okay though. It’s not like he drank anything except lake water or ate anything except plant life and the occasional bug.


We decided to invite him along our mini road trip. He drove with us for three hours. This is only because we decided Joe’s lake in Pickney was a much more suitable place for him to retire. It’s basically heaven to all turtles. One sleepover in a water-filled cooler filled with pet turtle food to endure, then he’s free at last. Except he was a little brat basically the whole way here. Eh, I don’t blame him. I’d be scared too.

My family’s had this place for nine years, and I still get super excited to get there like I did when I was just a girl. I feel like its the only place I can truly relax and have a total blast all in the same day. I wish more people could adventure out three hours away from their precious comfort zones, but it never seems to be so. What a shame.


Being in nature makes me so happy. I hope everyone can find this same happiness in something. We all deserve it.

Yesterday I went to my very first metal show with my good friend Aaron (Carlos, aha) and geez louise! What an experience!

Three bands performed; We skipped the first one to guzzle down a couple beers beforehand, the second one was Baroness, which were pretty awesome considering they weren’t nearly as metal as I thought they’d be, and the last band was Meshuggah, which is the band in the video.

So I bought my ticket with an open mind, whilst wearing my ripped up t-shirt and holocaust boots. People watching was certainly a point of interest I had even before the day of the show and it definitely still was once I got there. Spikes, jean jackets, and black on black on black clothing. Now, I didn’t go for the sole purpose of exploring peoples’ outer image. Believe it or not, I used to listen to metal/hard rock on the daily (Phase in high school, you know). Slipknot was in my ‘favorite band’ category at one point in my life. Not going to lie, I still like listening to their old stuff from time to time. Anywho, the reasoning for going to that show was, not only to accompany my good friend, but to maybe rekindle the old metalhead I once(almost) was. It definitely was a wicked turnout.

Metal is one of those genres that I can really only enjoy at an extremely high volume, or live. A lot of people call it ‘Satan’s music’, well who cares? I felt like I had an out-of-body experience while the speakers stabbed my ears with hard riffs and constant double bass. Stereotypes will always be around and be present in life, but don’t knock something until you’ve tried it (Unless it’s drugs like heroin or crack or something. OBVIOUSLY.) The atmosphere of this show was totally unique and different from what I would consider to be within my comfort zone. I mean, what fun is life if you never leave you’re comfort zone? Right? RIGHT.

The lineup was perfect for me too. The first band we saw wasn’t too metal, so it was a good warmup for my ears and neck. The second band… well they were a totally different sound. It wasn’t before long into the first song that Carlos and I were pushed and shoved into a ‘safe’ position in the crowd. The mosh pit was then formed, and as the show grew closer and closer to it’s end, the pit grew bigger and bigger. Baroness got me pumped, but Meshuggah turned me into something I never was before. Time went by, screams pulsed through St. Andrews Hall, and the bass drums vibrated the floor. I became a metalhead. I banged my head, bounced my body around, stomped my foot, and raised those ever so familiar horns made from my hand into the air. I had the greatest time.

I was only one guy away from the pit for most of the show. My blood boiled every time someone was pushed in my direction, just because I was excited to push them back in the pit. There was a point where my fists were clenched and I was moments away from taking my jewelry off and jumping in there for the hell of it, but I never managed to find the courage (Plus there were about three shirtless, buff dudes out there making things intense. Yikes.).

It might look and sound like the hounds from the depths of hell were all released into the same building, but they’ve shown me, not just another genre of music on a new level, but a different way of life. It was exciting, intense, and over-powering. When someone got knocked down, someone helped them up. It wasn’t just a madhouse full of raging psychopaths (Well, maybe.), but they somewhat had control over their wild and reckless behavior. Nonetheless, I had an amazing time (Even with the aftermath consisting of broken eardrums and a strange tingling throughout my body).

This certainly will not be my last metal show. I have to conquer that pit at some point, right? RIGHT! Damn right.

Lately I’ve felt this bubbly feeling inside me urging me to go out and live a little bit wilder. Jump out of my comfort zone and be ready to take on what’s in front of me. I’m on my way back home from Ann Arbor, which is where Planet Rock is. That’s where legit rock climbers go to practice and have fun. It wasn’t my first time climbing, but man was it a ride! You grow into a something that feels powerful. You feel like an animal, but with technique. It’s nuts, but it gives me such a rush for some reason. That feeling where you feel like you have your own life in your hands. All the risk you have to take just to make it up higher, and the strategy to quickly come up with. You don’t only feel stronger, but smarter too. Gahh, my fingers are sore and blistering. My feet feel lifeless. My forearms feel about 3 inches thicker in diameter. I’m beat. But man, did it make me feel alive

Lately I’ve felt this bubbly feeling inside me urging me to go out and live a little bit wilder. Jump out of my comfort zone and be ready to take on what’s in front of me.

I’m on my way back home from Ann Arbor, which is where Planet Rock is. That’s where legit rock climbers go to practice and have fun. It wasn’t my first time climbing, but man was it a ride!

You grow into a something that feels powerful. You feel like an animal, but with technique. It’s nuts, but it gives me such a rush for some reason. That feeling where you feel like you have your own life in your hands. All the risk you have to take just to make it up higher, and the strategy to quickly come up with. You don’t only feel stronger, but smarter too.

Gahh, my fingers are sore and blistering. My feet feel lifeless. My forearms feel about 3 inches thicker in diameter.

I’m beat. But man, did it make me feel alive

They say your ‘soulmate’ is suppose to be a person that can bring out the best ‘you’ you can be. A mate that literally consumes and digests your soul and understands/wants you to be everything you’ve always wanted to be. Well damn, did I strike the bulls-eye or what? I’ve always kind of have a relative idea of what I was all about, but now it seems like it’s gotten much more vivid. They also tend to say that you are bits and pieces of the people you have met and loved in your life… well I must have gotten a big chunk from him. He reminded me what it was like to fall in love with a person. Taking in every last detail and vision of what he is and was makes my day that much better. His dashingly good looks or sarcastic, corky humor wasn’t what captured my soul (but it did help). It was his spirit, passion, and enthusiasm for nature and the outdoors and the animals was. He doesn’t express it much, but he has so much love packed tightly within his heart that it’s almost unbearably difficult to understand. There’s just so much to enjoy about him that I never know where to start. He makes me want to be a better me. Corny, corny, corniness. But who the eff cares? I’m not a little girl anymore. I know I’m in love. I’m going to replenish my mind with that daring statement over and over again. It never gets old. After being in one of the world’s most beautiful places for a week, it’s easy to decide my future with him. Being able to enjoy the Earth on a level like that was truly the greatest experience of my life, thus far. I want to travel, get to know the ground I walk on, learn about the smaller beings that inhabit it. I don’t want to contain my curiosity anymore or be afraid to get in depth with life. And it was him that pushed me to this point. He nudged me out of the comfort zone I was becoming stuck in. I’m free, and he released me. Experiencing the world is the best activity in life, but sharing it with someone that has a compatible mindset as yours makes it that much more of a meaningful and enjoyable experience.

They say your ‘soulmate’ is suppose to be a person that can bring out the best ‘you’ you can be. A mate that literally consumes and digests your soul and understands/wants you to be everything you’ve always wanted to be. Well damn, did I strike the bulls-eye or what?

I’ve always kind of have a relative idea of what I was all about, but now it seems like it’s gotten much more vivid. They also tend to say that you are bits and pieces of the people you have met and loved in your life… well I must have gotten a big chunk from him.

He reminded me what it was like to fall in love with a person. Taking in every last detail and vision of what he is and was makes my day that much better. His dashingly good looks or sarcastic, corky humor wasn’t what captured my soul (but it did help). It was his spirit, passion, and enthusiasm for nature and the outdoors and the animals was. He doesn’t express it much, but he has so much love packed tightly within his heart that it’s almost unbearably difficult to understand. There’s just so much to enjoy about him that I never know where to start. He makes me want to be a better me.



Corny, corny, corniness. But who the eff cares? I’m not a little girl anymore. I know I’m in love. I’m going to replenish my mind with that daring statement over and over again. It never gets old.

After being in one of the world’s most beautiful places for a week, it’s easy to decide my future with him. Being able to enjoy the Earth on a level like that was truly the greatest experience of my life, thus far. I want to travel, get to know the ground I walk on, learn about the smaller beings that inhabit it. I don’t want to contain my curiosity anymore or be afraid to get in depth with life. And it was him that pushed me to this point. He nudged me out of the comfort zone I was becoming stuck in. I’m free, and he released me.



Experiencing the world is the best activity in life, but sharing it with someone that has a compatible mindset as yours makes it that much more of a meaningful and enjoyable experience.

I’ve had far too much free time on hands these past few weeks. It’s a good and bad thing.

Oh, it just started pouring rain outside. Oh the irony…

Life has such a sneaky way of over-complicating itself, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s so simple. Pure happiness isn’t difficult to find, but humans have this weird inability to see clear enough to it.

The rain just stopped and the sun came out. Oh so much irony.

I’ve somewhat learned how to stop bothering my thought process with mindless, evil fantasies. ‘What ifs’ and ‘how comes’ have made a major decrease in my brain activity because I just decided to make it so. It’s such a surreal and fantastic realization when you can just block out all the nonsense like everyone tells you to, including yourself. I can actually do it. Hell yeah.

This sun in blinding me now. Gosh, it’s beautiful.

Lesson one; take in the beauty that are in the images your eyeballs receive. Especially if you’re somewhere not normally seen as a place of beauty. Once you can somehow manage to adjust your internal senses to something along those lines, that door to happiness is now unlocked.

Go ahead, open it.

Music is basically the soul motivator of my moods. Obviously, whatever life decides to throw at me has a great impact of what kind of emotions my brain likes to twist into, but sounds that people make with their mouths and instruments plays a huge role.



I found this band through Spotify, thanks to this really neat tab that shows related artists to whatever band you search first. I searched The Joy Formidable first and found Grouplove. It takes a lot for me to figure out what bands mean most. Surprisingly enough, lyrics aren’t of most importance to me in deciding whether or not I should listen to another song of theirs. The sounds that they make alone give off, what I think, the best impression. I’m surprised I don’t listen to more instrumental music. Probably because I tend to like songs more if I can sing along to them.



Regardless, this band has a great sound. Everything is so beautifully intertwined, with some bounce.

They make me want to boogy down and move my torso from side to side.

Dear Tara,

You’ve always been able to do things on your own. You actually usually prefer it that way. But sometimes you can get caught up in certain things. Just remember that you are independent (ignore the cliche). You feel comfortable when you find someone. Someone you really like, even love. It doesn’t happen very often, ever, but sometimes you love someone a lot. Maybe even too much. Just remember that just because you’d rather be with him almost 100% of the time, you can do your own thing too. There’s enough room for both. Try not to feel so lost when it’s just you sometimes. You used to like it that way. Remember that.

Dear Tara, Don’t you EVER stop living. You hear me? Don’t ever stop. Don’t go out to eat to a buffet and try one thing; try all of it.

Dear Tara,

Don’t you EVER stop living. You hear me? Don’t ever stop. Don’t go out to eat to a buffet and try one thing; try all of it.

Dear Tara,

You’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. Not because of school or work, but because of people. It’s funny, because most people want to be wanted, you want to be wanted less. You are an introvert and as much as you’d like to hang out with everyone 24/7, you just can’t. You don’t feel comfortable, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not that your friends and family make you uncomfortable, it’s just being around people all the time does. You enjoy those times alone. Lately you haven’t been getting much of that. All the free time you have is spent with other people and not yourself. You should never have to feel bad about denying someone’s request to hang out. You have been denying your own requests for Tara time. Everyone’s different. You have always enjoyed spending time with yourself more than other people. Again, it’s not a bad thing. So long as you don’t completely cut off your friends and family. They all love you and they should understand that you want time for yourself. If they make you feel bad or react in a way that makes you feel guilt, then they don’t understand. Don’t sweat it. A lot of people don’t. It don’t owe anyone an explanation. You have a connection within yourself that I think most people don’t even have a grasp on. Enjoy your Tara time. You deserve it. Along with a guilt-free mind. Screw anyone else who doesn’t think so.

Dear Tara, Always, always, ALWAYS enjoy the little things. Even when you’re sick, coupons from Value World have always brightened your day.

Dear Tara,

Always, always, ALWAYS enjoy the little things. Even when you’re sick, coupons from Value World have always brightened your day.

Dear Tara, This is the picture that made you fall in love with the idea of photography. You were fifteen years old. You were camping with your grandparents and your cousin Caitlin like you used to always do. You and her were walking down a trail and the way the dirt road looked through your eyes made you want to create something. This was the first time you actually tried to create, what you thought, was a work of art. Once the heart was made in the dirt and your puny $80 camera was in place, you took your first photograph. Sure, it’s not the most in-depth, creative idea ever, but it was yours and it’s what kick-started your love for capturing the beautiful. Ever since then it’s been nothing more than teaching yourself and learning through others. I’m hoping that years from now photography is still a raging passion of yours and even if you don’t open up your own business or get a photo published, you’ll always love the feeling of snapping a shot you envisioned. Keep on shooting, Tara!

Dear Tara,

This is the picture that made you fall in love with the idea of photography. You were fifteen years old. You were camping with your grandparents and your cousin Caitlin like you used to always do. You and her were walking down a trail and the way the dirt road looked through your eyes made you want to create something. This was the first time you actually tried to create, what you thought, was a work of art. Once the heart was made in the dirt and your puny $80 camera was in place, you took your first photograph. Sure, it’s not the most in-depth, creative idea ever, but it was yours and it’s what kick-started your love for capturing the beautiful. Ever since then it’s been nothing more than teaching yourself and learning through others. I’m hoping that years from now photography is still a raging passion of yours and even if you don’t open up your own business or get a photo published, you’ll always love the feeling of snapping a shot you envisioned.

Keep on shooting, Tara!

Dear Tara,

You’re going to have days like today often, I’m sure. Days where you have all the ambition in the world and want to be productive with your positivity, but it’s all being held back. You either have to wait on something, have a million and one variables to consider, or have negativity surrounding you. I know this because you’ve already had quite a few of these days in your life already. When things seem bleak and times are confusing and rough, just remember that it will pass. So long as you keep that fury of positivity in you that I know is there, you’ll be okay. Being okay is good. You don’t have to be super happy with everything in life, but it’s better than having the burden of a heavily-clouded mind. And most importantly, always think for yourself. You have a habit of thinking about what will make everyone satisfied before yourself.

Keep your chin up when these days wiggle their way into your life, things will always be okay.

Dear Tara,

Stay curious.

Dear Tara, Today you lost one of the most important things in your life… your dog. But I know he isn’t just a dog. He’s family. He is your little brother. He’s grown up with you… literally. You were only a three year old toddler when mom and dad got him as a pup. You love that dog so much it hurts. You didn’t wait for this day to come before you got emotional either, how could you? He’s part of you. The receptionist at the vet’s office told you something today. Never really thought about it this way, but it’s true. She said, “He was a good boy. I know this because he did a great job raising you. I can tell you care about him a lot. You never forget your childhood pet.” He raised you. I can see it. He taught you how to love, how to care, how to be there when someone needed you. He really did do a great deal of raising you. That’s the thing with dogs… they’re always there for you. Always. You can’t get that kind of unconditional love from any other standard pet. No bird, or cat, or fish can ever love you so god damn much. That dog loved you. Yes, playing God today really sucked and was certainly the hardest thing you have yet to experience in your life so far. You should feel very fortunate though. You’re turning twenty this year and one of the worst things that’s ever happened to you is your dog dying. You’re very fortunate. Remember that. You were very strong today. You pulled up a chair right in front of him during the process. You rested your head on the table he was laying on and just kept staring into his eyes. He knew you were there for him. To comfort him. You made sure he was with his family for his last moments of life rather than a couple vets. You both were strong. You gave Lou the best sixteen years any dog could ever have. He’s lived a life full of love and happiness (Not to mention all the spoiling… ahhh countless amounts of McDonalds french fries). Hopefully Cookie doesn’t give him hell. I know grandma and Bartle will give him plenty of walks and treats. I love you, Lou. August 8th, 1995 - January 28th, 2012

Dear Tara,

Today you lost one of the most important things in your life… your dog. But I know he isn’t just a dog. He’s family. He is your little brother. He’s grown up with you… literally. You were only a three year old toddler when mom and dad got him as a pup. You love that dog so much it hurts. You didn’t wait for this day to come before you got emotional either, how could you? He’s part of you.

The receptionist at the vet’s office told you something today. Never really thought about it this way, but it’s true. She said, “He was a good boy. I know this because he did a great job raising you. I can tell you care about him a lot. You never forget your childhood pet.”

He raised you. I can see it. He taught you how to love, how to care, how to be there when someone needed you. He really did do a great deal of raising you. That’s the thing with dogs… they’re always there for you. Always. You can’t get that kind of unconditional love from any other standard pet. No bird, or cat, or fish can ever love you so god damn much. That dog loved you.

Yes, playing God today really sucked and was certainly the hardest thing you have yet to experience in your life so far. You should feel very fortunate though. You’re turning twenty this year and one of the worst things that’s ever happened to you is your dog dying. You’re very fortunate. Remember that.

You were very strong today. You pulled up a chair right in front of him during the process. You rested your head on the table he was laying on and just kept staring into his eyes. He knew you were there for him. To comfort him. You made sure he was with his family for his last moments of life rather than a couple vets. You both were strong.

You gave Lou the best sixteen years any dog could ever have. He’s lived a life full of love and happiness (Not to mention all the spoiling… ahhh countless amounts of McDonalds french fries). Hopefully Cookie doesn’t give him hell. I know grandma and Bartle will give him plenty of walks and treats.

I love you, Lou.

August 8th, 1995 - January 28th, 2012